Story Using Alice Walker Quote

No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow.

Alice Walker

“I am very sorry to say this, but your son has permanent birth defects due to overexposure to radiation while you were pregnant,” Dr. Richards spoke to my mother. That conversation had occurred fourteen years ago. Though I did not realize what was being said at the time, those few words would strike fear and anger into me for many years to come. Why did I have to be chosen for such a life of torment? Why would people be so cruel as to justify the pain they have caused me based off of something completely out of my control? All of my life I have been in a battle. A battle against myself and against the way that I was born. And a battle against the people that choose to alienate me because of the way that I am. My parents have always been very supportive of me and have tried to convince me that I am not the monster that many seem to make out of me. But it’s hard to believe them when so many of the people I encounter look and speak to me so differently than everyone else.

That is, until I met Jared in 5th grade. Jared, oddly enough, also had birth defects, though he had them as a result of his mother smoking and drinking alcohol while she was pregnant. As we were the only ones who could truly relate to each other, we became friends quickly, and it would stay that way for a long time. We were the only ones who would even talk to each other regularly. Others would never pay attention or bother to be nice to us, but we found comfort in being together. I had finally found someone who could look beyond my complexion to judge who I really was. Or so I had thought.

Jared’s birth defects were much less severe than mine, and an opportunity came up for him to get them removed by a surgery. At the time, I could not have been happier at the news, but I had no idea what would come from it. In terms of the way he was treated, there was almost an immediate change in the way people treated him. It had seemed that people who have never talked to him in their lives, were suddenly his best friends. At first, it did not seem too bad, as he still held me true as his one best friend. However, over time, he grew more and more distant, becoming more and more attached to others, always leaving me behind. “You want to hang out later?” I once asked.

“No sorry, I’m doing something with Jim.”

“Why can’t I come with?”

Jared paused for a moment. Then said: “Okay don’t take this the wrong way, but you need to get better at talking to people… You are kind of embarrassing to be around.” He responded. I was in complete dismay. It had seemed that all of the times we spent together were erased. After staring at him in a fit of confusion, he finally spoke: “I’ll tell you what, you can come with me but just stay quiet, okay? You should be happy I’m even inviting you in the first place.”

“If I change the way I talk to people, can I then speak?” I asked reluctantly.

“I honestly don’t think you ever will.”

Even though I knew how badly Jared was treating me, I complied as he was the only thing I had, and I felt that I had already lost him as well. This continued for about a year — staying in complete silence as Jared and his real friends had fun without me everytime. Each experience became more and more unbearable. Towards the end, I do not think anyone even noticed that I was there. It was as if I was invisible.

However, I soon someone who respected me for who I was. This came in the form of a psychologist named Mrs. Smith. I scheduled appointments with her after begging my mom to visit a psychologist. My self-esteem was astoundingly low when I first walked into her office. But through continuous work, my confidence slowly started to build back. Mrs. Smith was able to get through to me by telling me stories of how she was treated the same way as I was during her childhood. I do not think I have ever felt a connection to anyone as strongly as I did with her. One day I realized I now had too much respect for myself for letting Jared put me through the things that he was, and so I completely cut off connection with him. Doing so was an incredible feeling of relief. And though in a way I am lonelier than ever, I can finally have some solace in the fact that I feel fulfilled with myself. I longer need to seek feigned validation from others, as no person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow.